See You Soon.

Going to the birthplace of snowboarding, Ben & Jerry's, and Coat Factories today. I imagine that taking on, "The Vermonster" is like, "Leaving Las Vegas" but with ice cream and sprinkles. We'll see.

American Idol.

I Managed to crowbar a work trip to Denver in at the same time that Chuck Palahniuk was in town promoting his new book. This guy packs them in, and by "them" I mean "nerds". There were 300+ people there, and it was down to standing room only. I won't bore you with why I admire the shit out of this guys writing, but hearing the process behind some of his stories is fascinating. He broke down his formula for most of his books, labeling them "classic American fiction" in terms of their structure, and that they are all romances. One of his trademark reading ingredients is "gifts" for the audience, which this time included blow up sex dolls and anal bead bookmarks. Classy.

Mo Beta Blues.

Came down to California to check out Nixon's Spring '09 line, which they have dubbed a "Beta Meeting". Ironically, Dustin is involved with a clothing brand called Beta Unit who needed to meet with him regarding some upcoming designs, thus resulting in another "Beta Meeting". Point is, I had a Double-Double. Most. Interesting. Post. Ever.

Hitting the Wall. (China: Wrap Up)

For those keeping score at home, I've been back in "The Great Satan" for about a week now. I tried the best I could to keep things updated and current, but let's face it, that didn't happen. Last week was the worst case scenario of massive amounts of catching up to do and massive amounts of jet lag. I could try and keep up the illusion and pretend that I found an ethernet cable at the Great Wall of China, but that would be foolhardy. If there is one thing to fight against, that thing is foolhardiness. So I'm going to summarize the last couple of days in Beijing, starting riiiight now!

The Great Wall: A testament to what one can accomplish if one only has the will to do so; and an unending, expendable, supply of slave labor.

The Beijing Zoo:
Come for the Pandas, stay for the kids shitting on the sidewalk!



The Yashow Market:
Everything you've ever heard about Chinese bootleg shopping, under one roof! Bartering is key. They give you a price, you offer one tenth that. Offers are exchanged until you pay about one eighth the price. It sounds simple, but try doing that for four hours, and you'll feel like you ran a marathon underwater. Coming out with every episode of The Simpsons, The Wire, and Every Disney Movie Ever, just might be worth it though.

To summarize, the trips to Tokyo and Beijing provided a unique portrait of two cities in different stages of development. Beijing will no doubt struggle with the dichotomy of maintaining a Communist government in a Socialist country while some reap the massive rewards of embracing Capitalism. Tokyo will struggle to find new and unexpected things to sell out of vending machines. The main problem both countries face is their natural geographical distance from Mexican Food. Weather or not this proves to be a major factor in their future place on the world stage has yet to be seen, but one thing is clear: Mexican Food is delicioso*!



*Delicious, in Mexican.

There Are No Words...

Besides, "Best. Shirt. Ever."

Mao's It Going? (China: Day One)

There was a palpable sense of trepidation as we landed in Beijing. Several in our group were convinced that giardia, SARS, or some bizarre hybrid of both would be unavoidable during our stay. I was just worried about our tour guide being at the airport. The little we knew about Tokyo was a Fodor's library compared to what knowledge we had about China. If something went awry with our tour, there was a very real possibility we wouldn't make it out of the airport. Fortunately, Sam, our tour guide, met us outside customs. He ushered us to the van that would be our transport for the next four days, and we drove to the hotel.



Our first stop on the tour was the Forbidden City. One of the Ancient Wonders of the World, it takes up 720,000 square meters and only 1/3rd of it is open to the public. But you can look that up anywhere. What I can tell you is that it's effing huge, and if you take pictures of the guards you, "disappear quickly". Fair enough. There's a "four star toilet", which is extremely subjective, as the toilets in Japan had heated seats and the toilets here were barely a hole in the ground.

Lies. All Lies.

Right outside the Forbidden City lies Tiananmen Square, which was a bit of a cursory stop on our way to the Summer Palace. Apparently, the Chinese government has done a great job erasing any record of what happened there that you can't find any western publication from that week anywhere. Pretty spooky.

The Summer Palace is another sprawling testament to the Emperor's wealth and need to show off said wealth. We hiked our asses to the top of this thing, and were rewarded with some pretty good views of the Beijing skyline.




All in all, not a bad day. Oh, and I saw a midget. Pretty rare in China, from what I'm told.

Last Day in Japan.

We decided to make our way to "Electric City" for our last day in Tokyo. This is a five or six block area of nothing but gadgets, arcades, and lots of things shiny/blinking.


I thought for sure this would be the place to find the arsenal of Airsoft guns I had been searching for, but came up empty again. Saw some "double jeans" steez that Dustin warned me about, that's a pair of jeans that has a second waist band sewed in to them to make it appear that you have on another pair underneath. Weirdos.

Speaking of weirdos, since it was Earth Day there was a huge gathering of hippies in Yoyogi Park. Hippies, like English, can be found in small pockets everywhere nowadays, and the hippies in Japan are no less annoying or smelly. One lad, who wanted so badly to be a part of the drum circle, resorted to using a can of tuna and a spoon. Come on guy, at least invest in a bucket and a stick.

Japan Has No Mirrors.

The President of Hot Topic was standing right behind me, and all he could say was, "Too much, dudes. Chill out."

Tokyo: The Monkey Highlights.

With the Nixon meeting over with and Nate, Jake and my significant others in town, it was time to do "touristy" side of Tokyo. This, unbeknown to me, would involve monkeys! As if you needed any more reason to love the randomness of Japan. The monkey's handler didn't speak a lick of English throughout their performance, but some things, like enthusiasm, cross all borders. She was basically screaming at the top of her lungs, while the monkey walked (and jumped!) on stilts, did gymnastics, and looked like an all around badass.


Oh yeah, there was a 333 meter TV tower that we went up and looked out at picturesque panoramas of this pearl of the Pacific, but a MONKEY, that's something to see.



Seeing the shit out of that monkey really worked up an appetite, so we ate at the Tokyo Curry Lab. When I was a kid, my favorite things usually had the word "lab" or "kit" in them. In fact, the things I wanted most in the world up until I was 10 or so was a "Chemistry Lab" and a "Disguise Kit". I never got either. But I did get to get a plate full of deliciousness in a restaurant that looks about 10 years too futuristic. I'm surprised there wasn't a single pill on the plate that was labeled, "Curry". Best meal so far.

Street Art in Tokyo.

Check these pieces that I saw whilst on my jaunts around the city. Neck Face has a couple of tags around the city, but you can't miss this one. Nice London Police just to the left of it as well. The Invader one was right under the bridge we walked everyday to the subway, although I didn't notice it for three or four days. I also like the Mickey Avalon signature, right under the Neck Face piece.

So Boss.

When in Rome...

Did a massive shop tour today, seeing every kind of retailer, from Japanese skate shop to sketchy gray marketer. These guys sell everything: toilet paper, mattresses, Louie Vuitton, and it's all on four floors of merchandising nightmares. Seriously. Look at the picture below and imagine trying to take stock of anything here. Now I know why the Japanese invented Seppuku.


I wish I had a pedometer on this trip, because I am sure I've logged well over 20 miles walking so far. After we hoofed it around all day, we were treated to a little karaoke action at Shidax Village. Karaoke in Japan is like soccer in, I don't know, everywhere but America. They take that shit seriously. Nixon had a whole floor of this place rented out, so there were at least 15 separate rooms to rock your ass off in. Plus you can order drinks by remote. We were fortunate enough to hook up with the Japanese distributor, Sahn, who showed us what karaoke is all about. It was even enough to get Jake up there and sing. My best Kelly Clarkson hasn't been able to do that.

Shidax, Committed to Karaoke

Getting after it with the locals.

You always remember your first time.

Andy, Nixon President.

Shibooya.

We did an all day walking tour of the greater Shibuya area today. Must have visited 30-40 different stores. It's amazing how as many stores as we visited, there was hardly any brands that overlapped, save for Converse. It's also wild how some of these stores stay in business, because some of them are so off the beaten path that one would think they were trying to keep their existence a secret. By the end of the day I had learned a few key things about Japanese retail:
1. Nothing can or should fit an adult male. Make sure all your size runs are in Youth.
2. Skull and Crossbones improves anything, even a Godfather hat.
3. Layering, layering, layering. You should be a human croissant by the time you leave the house in the morning.
4. No price is too high. $75 is perfectly reasonable for a bandanna, just like $90 is fine for 3 people to have breakfast.


5. When in doubt, throw some rhinestones on that bitch.

While nothing from a product side of things really jumped out and grabbed me, the merchandising skills of retailers here is off the charts. Some of the gnarliest build-outs and window displays I have ever seen. This one store called UT runs t-shirts out of little plastic tubes, which they fill up 3 stories of retail space with.



Stopped by the Audi Forum, just because, and perved out over the cars there. White R8 anybody?


Here's a few more photos from the day, I'll post up everything on my web gallery pretty soon.

Off to Japan.

In almost exactly 24 hours, a dream of mine for quite a while will come to fruition. I will board a plane and go to the one place on earth more obsessed with karaoke, video games, and cats than I am. Tokyo. Not that I am unique in my dream of seeing Japan, but I am fascinated by a place that makes Vegas look like Little House on the Prairie. This trip will no doubt be filled with hardship. I am only mildly fond of sushi, and seafood in general does nothing for me. I am almost sure of contracting SARS, or Bird Flu, or some kind of latent Tuberculosis. Maybe I'll be mugged by a group of wayward Cosplay youths. But on the upside, they have arcade versions of Mario Kart, and you can buy hot milk from vending machines. The next two weeks will be a special limited edition Me x Japan X China colab blog. A "Colablog" if you will. I won't. More to come.