Hitting the Wall. (China: Wrap Up)

For those keeping score at home, I've been back in "The Great Satan" for about a week now. I tried the best I could to keep things updated and current, but let's face it, that didn't happen. Last week was the worst case scenario of massive amounts of catching up to do and massive amounts of jet lag. I could try and keep up the illusion and pretend that I found an ethernet cable at the Great Wall of China, but that would be foolhardy. If there is one thing to fight against, that thing is foolhardiness. So I'm going to summarize the last couple of days in Beijing, starting riiiight now!

The Great Wall: A testament to what one can accomplish if one only has the will to do so; and an unending, expendable, supply of slave labor.

The Beijing Zoo:
Come for the Pandas, stay for the kids shitting on the sidewalk!



The Yashow Market:
Everything you've ever heard about Chinese bootleg shopping, under one roof! Bartering is key. They give you a price, you offer one tenth that. Offers are exchanged until you pay about one eighth the price. It sounds simple, but try doing that for four hours, and you'll feel like you ran a marathon underwater. Coming out with every episode of The Simpsons, The Wire, and Every Disney Movie Ever, just might be worth it though.

To summarize, the trips to Tokyo and Beijing provided a unique portrait of two cities in different stages of development. Beijing will no doubt struggle with the dichotomy of maintaining a Communist government in a Socialist country while some reap the massive rewards of embracing Capitalism. Tokyo will struggle to find new and unexpected things to sell out of vending machines. The main problem both countries face is their natural geographical distance from Mexican Food. Weather or not this proves to be a major factor in their future place on the world stage has yet to be seen, but one thing is clear: Mexican Food is delicioso*!



*Delicious, in Mexican.

There Are No Words...

Besides, "Best. Shirt. Ever."

Mao's It Going? (China: Day One)

There was a palpable sense of trepidation as we landed in Beijing. Several in our group were convinced that giardia, SARS, or some bizarre hybrid of both would be unavoidable during our stay. I was just worried about our tour guide being at the airport. The little we knew about Tokyo was a Fodor's library compared to what knowledge we had about China. If something went awry with our tour, there was a very real possibility we wouldn't make it out of the airport. Fortunately, Sam, our tour guide, met us outside customs. He ushered us to the van that would be our transport for the next four days, and we drove to the hotel.



Our first stop on the tour was the Forbidden City. One of the Ancient Wonders of the World, it takes up 720,000 square meters and only 1/3rd of it is open to the public. But you can look that up anywhere. What I can tell you is that it's effing huge, and if you take pictures of the guards you, "disappear quickly". Fair enough. There's a "four star toilet", which is extremely subjective, as the toilets in Japan had heated seats and the toilets here were barely a hole in the ground.

Lies. All Lies.

Right outside the Forbidden City lies Tiananmen Square, which was a bit of a cursory stop on our way to the Summer Palace. Apparently, the Chinese government has done a great job erasing any record of what happened there that you can't find any western publication from that week anywhere. Pretty spooky.

The Summer Palace is another sprawling testament to the Emperor's wealth and need to show off said wealth. We hiked our asses to the top of this thing, and were rewarded with some pretty good views of the Beijing skyline.




All in all, not a bad day. Oh, and I saw a midget. Pretty rare in China, from what I'm told.