Monday Morning Movie Reviews: Watchmen UPDATE!!

Hey, have you heard about this movie? No? Is your name Helen Keller? It is?! Has your corpse been reanimated, and locked in a windowless room for the last year or so? It HAS?!! Well, as an abomination beyond comprehension whose very existence is an affront to God and heaven above, you'll probably enjoy the special effects. As a woman, you'll enjoy the proliferation of blue wieners. As a blind, deaf-mute, who can only read in braille, the attention to detail that the filmmakers put in to translating the comic to screen will probably be lost on you. As the person who gave you the sweet breath of life again, only to imprison you in a root cellar, I just want to say, you smell like eggs. C+.

UPDATE:
After seeing the credit sequence again, I've decided to upgrade this to a B. These have to be the best background building/mood setter titles since Se7en.

Nerd Alert!

As anyone who knows me can attest, I am a huge nerd. Fortunately for me, I was introduced to skateboarding in my formative teen years, so I developed a pretty good cloaking device for my nerdery. My brother, on the other hand, is ten years my junior, and I had hit the road as soon as possible after high school, leaving him to his own devices. Some nerds discover skateboarding, others, science. This is what happens to the latter:


Watchmen premiers tonight at midnight, and my brother and his friends decided (appropriately) to dress up for the movie. Duncan, my brother, went as Dr. Manhattan, who, spend most of the movie nude. There are like, three, frames in the comic that he appears in a suit and tie, but any true nerd would go as he is seen throughout the rest of the books. Hence, Duncan faithfully ordered latex body paint online (natch) and went wearing the least amount of clothing allowed by the theater. Granted, my brother's physique is that of a plucked chicken, and the blue paint came out a bit...aqua, but nevertheless, I am extremely proud. Better that than to show up as some kind of "Tom Selleck Rorschach in drag" as one of the less committed nerds did. As soon as he saw my brother, he updated his Facebook status to: "...is getting pwned at the Watchmen premier." Shouldn't have made your costume in the dark, dude.



I'll be going with TJ to the movie on Saturday morning. I'm still trying to get him to get him to blue himself. Wait...