Monday Morning Movie Reviews (New Year's Edition!):Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem

It has, as they say, come to this. The amount of shit I want to spray all over this movie is astronomical, I am almost speechless. Almost. Here is what you need in an Alien Vs. Predator movie: Aliens. Predators. Here's what you don't need: whiny, bitch-ass teenagers and Michelle from "24". They actually wrote a love interest in to this movie! A LOVE INTEREST! The closest thing we got to that in either of the films that this 90 minutes of skull buggery is based on was that Arnold didn't use the Mexican chick as bait before he dropped that tree on Predator number one. That's a love story. Don't even get me started on the clandestine swimming pool make out scene, you read that correctly, that is not a typo. I blame myself really, I knew going in to it that this was going to be another shit sandwich that Hollywood was going to force feed us, and there I was, happily handing over my bucks to gobble it up. My only hope is that it made enough money to make a third installment, so we can make the full on transition from action movie to musical/romantic comedy and be done with the whole charade. I watched the original Predator for 24 hours straight to cleanse my mental palate after this. Go see National Treasure instead. Nick Cage's hair is 10x scarier.