Oscar Nominations come out on Thursday, January 22nd, and since I'm as much a fan of the, "Female Super Bowl" as any one, I like to see who made the cut and who did not. Going off the Golden Globe winners, I've begun watching my screeners that are sent to my mailbox* by studio executives** who value my opinion as a voice of the people when it comes to movie reviews***. Sure my votes don't count, but if you have an "Office Oscar Odds" pool, here's a great way to take some money off those bastards in Accounts Receivable.
Slumdog Millionaire
This will probably win Best Picture, if for no other reason than people probably want to clean their palette after No Country For Old Men. Sometimes that much awesomeness leaves a bitter aftertaste and people need to wash it down with some feel-good, destiny sorbet. Personally, this did about as much for me as one of those, "Hang in There!" posters, I could see how it would win over the masses. Stupid Obama, restoring faith in humanity.
Odds of winning: EvenFrost/Nixon
A shoo in for the "most interviewy" category. This is like 60 minutes, at half-speed. Another great movie to have in your back pocket for games of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon". You can be all, like, "...and The Game was in Street Kings with Keanu Reeves, who was in Sweet November with Frank Langella, who was in Frost/Nixon with Kevin Bacon! Boo Ya! Wait, where are you going? You don't want to have sex with me now? Why not?" Odds of winning 10:1
The Wrestler
Compared to Darren Arronofsky's other movies, this was like a dance around the maypole. Mickey Rourke does kill in this, and if he doesn't get a best actor nod, I will be pissed. Like, mad enough to say, "He shoulda got nominated!" out loud, to no one in particular. If there's a category for, "Nudity in place of Acting" category Marisa Tomei is a lock. Odds of Winning: 15:1
Gran Torino
I wasn't going to include this one, but I keep hearing that this is a, "Dark Horse" in the Oscar race. I don't know what a, "Dark Horse" is, but thanks to this movie I now know that, "zipper head", "gook", "fish face" and, "nip" are all insults to Asians, so I assume it's racial in some way. I also award the Best Actor award to the car in this movie, because everyone else was gawd awful. Except for you, Clint. You're a B2DAHB MF'er. Odds of Winning: 25:1
*Apple TV
**The Internet
***Just kidding, I saw all these in the theaters. But, I snuck in. Actually, I jumped from theater to theater after buying a ticket for, "Hotel For Dogs". That's a lie too. It was "Paul Blart: Mall Cop".
