Not the hilarious, albiet messy, baby seal kind. The Red-Bull/Vodka fueled, tight shirt, seizure inducing kind. Ok, not quite that bad, but it was "Dance Music" and yes, I was "Dancing". No need to inform me how bad this hurts my street cred, I will go out and get a silencer for my gun this week to make up for it. The point is, Girl Talk came to SLC on Saturday, and I went. I also brought along my old lady, a few friends, and a healthy distaste for bullshit. And kids. I "flew the flag" at a skate contest earlier in the day and nothing gets me over kids quicker than having to listen to them bitch about how I either a) don't have enough free stuff to give them, or b) that I'm not giving it to them fast enough. Greedy wankers. So I was kind of in a bunk mood when I rolled to the club, ok, bar, I'm going to call it a bar because they serve liquor and if I continue with club, I'm going to feel like a tool. Once at the bar, I tried to cheer up, but it wasn't happening. Then the opening band came on. For anyone who is considering starting a band allow me to use these guys as your template. Make sure you follow this exactly.
-Girl wearing fishnet stockings, bikini top, and ROPE that does nothing but dance around on stage...check.
-Lead guitarist that looks like a character from Guitar Hero left becasue it was "getting too real"...check.
-No fewer than FOUR drummers...check.
-At least one drummer playing drums with MARACAS...check.
-Song about video games where chorus is SOUND EFFECTS...check.
-Total band roster over twelve...check.
Cool. Send me your CD when it comes out.
So once that was over, Girl Talk came out and rocked the hiz-ouse. At least I assume it was him, becasue the stage was rushed 5 seconds after he introduced himself. It was a circus. Halfway through he had to move his table off the stage and in to the crowd, becasue for some reason that was safer than staying up there.
The funniest part was that most of the crowd were hipster nerds that wouldn't be cought dead listening to, let alone DANCING to the un-mashed version of the songs that were being played, but suddenly M.I.M.S is okay if it is over the Dawsons Creek theme song (yeah, it was that good). Other highlights include Kelis over Depeche Mode, and of course, Biggie over Elton John. Fuck. Clubbing rules. 
