Yes We Did.

Play Your Part.

I'm probably a little late to say that I "grew up" in a post-9-11 world, but I definitely made all of my "grown up" decisions there. Getting married, buying a house, having a baby, were all done under the threat of getting blown up, gassed, or having the world's economy collapse because I got a low rate mortgage. Arms and/or ARMs were going to destroy the peaceful and happy life I had, and it seemed to get worse and worse every day. Life before all that seems like it was forever ago. It's exhausting when I really think about it. I feel tired of waking up to this low level uneasiness, like the hum from power lines, buzzing along under the noise of life. Is today the day things get really bad? Have I been caught up in this irresponsibility of mortgaging my future on some frivolity today? If the shit hits the fan, what side would I be on? These are the things that I contemplate, usually as I walk my dog in the morning. The uber-suburban, planned community that I live in, a fitting backdrop for my internal debate about conspicuous consumption and what side I am choosing in this battle for America's soul. I rarely come up with a conclusion, and depending on the day, I come home feeling that everything will work out or that we're all doomed. What does stay constant is my unwillingness to do anything to change the outcome, and that's what makes me hate myself. 

If this were a play, we all want to be on the side of "the resistance". We imagine ourselves, usually in berets, holding meetings in abandoned warehouses, or underground waterways, planning the next attack against the fascist (or robot) regime that now controls the country. We have sacrificed everything, and are on the brink of being defeated, but our spirit and determination keep us going. Sadly, nothing in my life, so far, points to me actually being in that role. In reality, I'd be better cast as part of the oppressed chorus. Standing around, looking scared, waiting for the line, "It's ok, the battle is over. Now we can rebuild." Then we applaud and hug each other, pantomiming camaraderie and relief that the worst is behind us. On Tuesday we are choosing who will deliver that line, and in an effort to do something, anything to change the outcome, I am going to tell you that I am voting for Obama, and I think you should too. It doesn't put me in to the leading role, or even get me out of the chorus, but consider this my improved line near the end of the play where I shout, "Fuck the robots!"

Another Dead Hero.

True now as it ever was. Bill Hicks, dark poet extraordinaire.