After hearing all the nightmare "Black Friday" stories (and getting a little blunted) I had an idea to write a little short story about the not so distant future where the country has been torn apart by The Great Price War, splintering our once fine nation in to factions that battle one another for the best deals. It would be Apocalypse Now meets Les Miserables meets Mad Max meets Employee of the Month (Dane Cook and Jessica Biel are attached to play the leads). There would be funny jokes about how in the constant one-upsmanship of Black Friday, in the future, everything is $.99, but to get that price, the average wage in the US is $5 a month. We've traded places with China in terms of living conditions, with the factory workers are driving BMW's to make the useless shit that we work 18 hour days without a bathroom break to buy. Our "consumer dorms" (10 x 10 concrete rooms, shared by 6 people, but tastefully furnished by Ikea) will span the urban landscape, integrated in to a mall that goes from sea to shining sea. Now that I'm sober, I guess it's just Fight Club with Dane Cook. Fuck. Now that I've typed that, no doubt it will find it's way to some Jr. Executive's desk, where it will be made. Fuckin' Hollywood. They've ruined more dreams than Freddy Krueger (zing!).
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